


Thank you for being here.

by highfunctioningsupersoldiersociopath



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crushes, F/M, First work - Freeform, Idiots in Love, Memory Sequence, Nat is badass, but she's such a cheeky little rat, obvs, we know that already, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 20:05:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12043278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highfunctioningsupersoldiersociopath/pseuds/highfunctioningsupersoldiersociopath
Summary: A mission doesn't go according to plan, and you're there to comfort the one whom it affected the most.





	Thank you for being here.

You did not completely agree with a certain James Barnes going out on a 'mission' with Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff but, you thought, at least he was in good company and he can handle himself. He is a grown man after all and after his time in the clutches of Hydra, with everything he went through, he has the strongest desire to bring the organisation crashing and burning to the ground with little to no remorse. If they needed a sniper, and he was their only option, then of course he would offer his services.

Another thing: Why is it that when anything dramatic happens, it's always after a mission goes wrong? Of course it would go bloody wrong! What did you expect if you take a recovering soldier with amnesia and severe PTSD and put him back into the war-zone? That he would be fine? Sometimes, you thought, people lack the common sense that the world needs.

You had just started a new book, and with nothing else to do with your time, you had settled down on a couch in the common room, and turned the first page. After that, you can't remember turning any other pages, but all you knew is that you were several chapters in when Barnes stormed in, closely followed by the other two. You only noticed when FRIDAY spoke up, welcoming them back and Steve requesting that the AI let him know when the hostage wakes up. Hold up; hostage? You didn't think it was that type of mission. You were pretty sure that taking hostages was not the purpose of the Avengers. Time for some investigative work.

After the debriefing (that you weren't allowed in on, so you progressed through a couple more chapters into the book that was getting better by the second), weapons safely stowed away in their proper places, and a thorough (you were sat on her bed waiting for at least half an hour) shower, you convinced Natasha to spill all the details.

They had underestimated the number of hostiles that would be present at the base they were about to sneak into, but as always, got out relatively unharmed. Until one of the hostiles was found hiding away in the Quinjet they were using. It didn't take long to apprehend him, but the first word that came out of his mouth had Barnes freeze up like he'd just looked into the eyes of Medusa: "Longing." (Nat had said the word in Russian, but having been around her and Barnes long enough, you'd started to pick up on certain words and their translations, including this one.)

That was when Natasha stepped in and knocked 'the lil nasty' out cold with the butt of her gun. The rest of the flight back to the Avengers compound, where you had remained seated on one of the plush couches for the past couple of hours, was spent in a tense quiet, everyone unsure how to act because it was then that all the research and trials that the Wakandan scientists did would either pay off or turn out a complete flop.

Okay, it wasn't quite Sherlock Holmes worthy, but now you knew about things from at least one point of view. Other sides of the story would have to wait.

When Natasha finished animatedly reliving the experience, she persuaded you to go in search of Bucky, mentioning that you were the only one apart from Rogers who had the ability to calm him without completely wrecking the place. At the end of her little persuasive speech, she decided it was appropriate to mention she had a theory: the only reason that you were able to calm him so easily was because he had a crush and saw you as maybe more than just a friend. Her laughter at your scandalised facial expression was enough to know she was joking (but you were sure that she had seriously thought it through), and before you could get a word in edgeways, she told you to scram before threatening to let the whole of S.H.I.E.L.D know about your own crush, giving a cheeky wink when you scowled back at her on your way out.

Finding Barnes could be quite a task if he doesn't want to be found, but by now you knew all his usual haunting grounds and decided that first you'd check his living quarters and if he wasn't in there then it would have to be the gym. There was no particular hurry so when there was no sign of him in his room that was down the hall from Nat's, you started a leisurely stroll back to the other end of the hall to the elevator that would take you to the floor the gym was on. It was occupied only by Steve, so you immediately turned on your heel as to not disturb his little tension releasing session after quickly scanning the room for any other life forms that might resemble a certain assassin but to no avail.

Having exhausted all the - very limited - options, and not completely willing to prove to Natasha that her theory was correct, you made your way back to your own living quarters, where you ended up sprawled out on your bed, staring up at the ceiling. You allowed your thoughts to drift, so naturally, they went back to what Nat had said earlier about the way Barnes had reacted to one of the trigger words. You had complete faith in T'Challa's scientists and when they said the programming had been removed, you believed them. Others were a bit more apprehensive (especially Steve, and with good reason too: he didn't want his friend to beat himself up anymore over something that was argued wasn't his fault) about how Barnes would react if some bastard decided to try their luck, but after being shown the results of multiple successful trials, more of the team were swayed to acceptance. 

That brought up an image of when Barnes was still relatively new to the compound and you'd found him on the roof, sitting on the edge, legs dangling off and for a split second your mind had gone to suicide but then the knowledge of his strong morals rebutted that thought and it subsided. Someone had done something to upset him, but what it was escaped you. He had been swaying slightly, probably letting his thoughts wander and his body was doing what it could to console him. You had cautiously approached and settled yourself down next to him - not too close as to cause discomfort, but close enough he knew you were there - and you had let the silence wash over you, waiting to see if he would speak first. When the sound of your own breathing had become too much to bear, you'd broken the silence with a hushed: "Penny for your thoughts?"

He had released a sharp breath through his nose that, you had thought, could be considered a humorous snort at the idiom, and you remembered thinking how blue his eyes were up close and how they had stood out against the contrast of his pale skin and dark hair. He had taken a deep breath and, indeed, shared his thoughts with you. Something that you remember distinctly was that the air was still and with it no sound was carried from the surrounding expanse of grass or bordering trees. The internal workings of the building had been muted but you could hear his voice with crystal clarity as he'd spoken about all the things on his mind and you'd listened like there was nothing else that mattered in the world, your full attention on the man next to you.

At some point in his monologue, you had noticed how close together you'd gotten: you could feel the heat radiating off of him and it had been oh so tempting to lay your head on his shoulder but you had chided yourself into maintaining proper boundaries.  Then the memory started to blur around the edges, his once clear voice becoming muted and muffled as if the whole world had been submerged under water; what happened next you couldn't quite remember...

After the memory had completely faded, you were left lying in the present and a new idea burning in the forefront of your mind: he'll be on the roof, especially as people rarely (or never) go up there.

The only way to access the roof was down a dimly lit, dusty maintenance corridor that was hidden away at the far end of the building, so it took a good five minutes to find the right door. In all honesty, you only found it because it was the only one that was slightly ajar – he clearly forgot to close it properly in his haste. With the light coming from the main corridor, you could see his footprints in the dust and several cobwebs lining the ceiling and walls; it looked eerily similar to something out of an old vampire movie, where at the end of the corridor, you would find a polished coffin of mahogany and inside a handsome yet terrifying - definitely not sparkly - blood-sucking humanoid monster lying on a plush blood-red satin pillow, milky white skin illuminated by several candelabras dotted about on the walls. Instead, all there was was a slightly wobbly ladder that led up to a small platform that had a hobbit-sized door you had to duck through to get out onto the roof top. When out in the open, you inhaled deeply to make up for the stale air of the 'vampire-corridor' whilst your eyes adjusted to the brightness of the afternoon sun. 

Blinking a couple of times, you looked around in hopes of finding the dark haired man, and just like that time previously, he was sat on the edge with legs dangling in nothingness, his back to you, although you don't doubt he heard you coming up the ladder and swearing rather loudly as one of the cobwebs tickled your face, not to mention the squeak of the door as it opened. 

He still had his tactical gear on, so it was obvious he had come straight here, and you slowly made your way to his right side, aware of how uncomfortable he'll be if you sat down on his left. The surface of the roof was dotted with moss growing haphazardly, so it wasn't possible to pick a straight path towards him. He didn't make any noise of acknowledgement, and you only just noticed his eyes flit to your face before going back to staring unfocused ahead of him. This allowed you to take in his features now you were up close; eyes unfocused, his mouth pulled tight in a grim line, a streak of dirt across his right cheek, slightly tousled hair, and he was fiddling with a black hairband you'd given to him a while back. 

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Suddenly, he turned to you and said, "I suppose you're here to tell me that everything's going to be okay and that none of it was my fault, that there was nothing I could do, and I'll get better with time. Well, I know I'm better and there is still a way to go. It'll never be okay, so if you're here to tell me this then go away!"

Although you weren't expecting this outburst, your outward composure remained calm but inside you were slightly panicking that he honestly didn't want you there and the 'go away' part wasn't necessarily aimed specifically at you but just a general accusation that he would fire at anyone who dared to bother him. If it was aimed at you, surely he would have made that known as soon as you appeared out from the door?

"I'm not here to say that, actually. I saw you storm in and was worried. If you need to say anything – anything at all – I'm all ears."

"You know what happened then?" He seemed to have calmed down after you said that, realising what you said to be true.

You had the grace to blush in embarrassment at his question, ducking your head and staring at your knees, hoping not to see whatever expression was on his face. "Yeah, Nat told me. Sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart." He scooted a little closer to you and put his arm around your shoulders, as if you were the one that needed comforting, not him. It was comforting though, and you decided he wouldn't mind if you leant your head on his shoulder this time, and his response was to lean his cheek on your head and you were positive that the dirt on his cheek was now in your hair as well, but the grim expression from earlier that was so prominent was now gone. 

Maybe Nat's theory could be true. Not that you'd be against such a crush, as if he did, the feelings were mutual. You didn't know whether Nat knew that much and you weren't exactly hot on telling her any time soon, but it was very possible that she did know and was just fooling you around.

"It was just a delicate moment of truth that was handled well by Natasha, that I didn't handle so well," he confided. His voice had lowered in volume to barely above a whisper as not to disturb (or possibly frighten) you as he knew that with your close proximity, you'd be able to hear him perfectly well. It occurred to you that that was what he was thinking about before you arrived on the roof, possibly while you were still waiting on Nat's bed for her to finish showering.

"I'm glad you know what went wrong. Maybe it would be an idea to see if you could resist for longer?" You posed the latter sentence as a question in an attempt to make him feel like you were not forcing him to do anything, but when he gave a non-committal hum in agreement, you decided not to push it any further in case it riled him up again. 

You settled into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company, until he decided to break it.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

There was a short pause before he answered, "Being here."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please feel free to leave kudos and comments; I don't bite, promise!
> 
> This work was originally posted on my Wattpad account.


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